Alec Baldwin’s still reeling from the tragic 2021 Rust shooting that killed Halyna Hutchins. His wife Hilaria revealed he’s been tormented by thoughts, wondering why he survived instead.
People magazine dished details from the first episode of their new TLC show The Baldwins. The couple got real about the incident’s heavy toll. “This has been just surreal,” Alec confided to Hilaria. “I can’t even believe that we’re going through this, and I always feel more in pain about you than me, because I think to myself, well, you know, I’m going to try my best to just get through it, and I think what it’s done to you how much it’s hurt you and everything.”
The year after was brutal – he couldn’t even drag himself out of bed some days. “That’s not like me. I’m not like that at all, not in any way am I like that,” he shared. Alec faced involuntary manslaughter charges after a Pietta .45 Colt revolver he was holding went off on set, taking the life of 42-year-old cinematographer Halyna Hutchins. The charges got dropped when new key evidence surfaced late.
Hilaria spilled that everyone close to Alec watched his mental health spiral, with his OCD ramping up too. “He was diagnosed with PTSD, and he says in his darkest moments, ‘If an accident had to have happened this day, why am I still here? Why couldn’t it have been me?’ … You wake up in the morning and you’re like, ‘Oh God, why did I wake up?'” Alec admitted feeling “happier” sleeping than being awake.
His family’s been his rock through it all. “Honestly, from the bottom of my soul, I don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t have you and these kids going through this,” he poured out. “I never would have made it with this. Sometimes I’d say, ‘Why did I have seven kids? Why do we have seven kids?’ And I realize, to help carry me and you through this situation.”
When his case got tossed last year, Alec showed love to his supporters on Instagram: “There are too many people who have supported me to thank just now. To all of you, you will never know how much I appreciate your kindness toward my family.”
Meanwhile, Rust armorer Hannah Gutierrez-Reed caught an 18-month prison sentence after being found guilty in Hutchins’ death. The gun on set, which made its debut at Poland’s Camerimage festival last year, should’ve had dummy rounds. Instead, she missed checking for the live round before handing it to the actor.
