During the latest episode of IMO with Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson, actress Tracee Ellis Ross shared why she “often” dates younger men.
Around the 15-minute mark, Tracee discussed her dating preferences and explained she’s drawn to younger guys because of the toxic masculinity she typically sees in men her own age. She remembered telling Michelle and former President Barack Obama about dating younger men at dinner when he asked her why.
“We’re across the table and your husband goes, ‘But why?'” she laughed. “And I said, ‘Well, maybe because I can.’ … I had to ask myself that question. I was like, ‘What is this about?’ Because I want a partner—and it’s not just that I’m older, I’m also very embodied. I am a full, very whole person. Who knows myself, who is in charge of my life and lives a very full, robust life. So it’s not just age, it’s like, life experience is sort of a difference. But I had to ask myself the question, ‘Why? Why does this keep sort of coming up other than they’re hot and gorgeous?’ But a lot of men my age are steeped in a toxic masculinity and have been raised in a culture where there is a particular way that a relationship looks.”
She mentioned that whenever she senses a man might have rigid relationship expectations, she loses interest. “I did enough of it, where I was controlled and felt like I was a possession or whatever those things were,” she added. “I have no interest in it and I will not do it again.”
When Craig asked if it’s a “generational” thing, she admitted it was a “generalization” but noted a clear difference in her experience between dating men her age versus younger men. “There is a difference, there is an openness that occurs with a younger man,” she explained. “Whether it’s gender fluidity, not even having an issue with homosexuality. I mean, something as basic as that. There’s times where I’ll be sitting across the table from somebody and just like, ‘What did you just say? Oh my God.'”
Tracee, 52, said she’s “long past the age” where it’s her job to teach or help a potential partner become more understanding or mature. “I mean, there’s so many different philosophies on dating, and I have come up with mine,” she said. “And I have come up with mine. I have come up with what works for me and what makes sense for me and what feels safe for me. I’m not on dating apps. I have friends that have great success with dating apps, but that’s just not something I’m comfortable with.”
Later in the interview, Tracee admitted experiencing “grief” about not getting married or having children. “As much as grief does surface for me around not having children and not having a partner, I still wouldn’t want the wrong partner,” she said. “I’m not interested in that. You have to make my life better.”
