Billy Joel has revealed details about the time he tried to take his own life after having an affair with his best friend’s wife.
In his upcoming HBO documentary, And So It Goes, the 76-year-old “Piano Man” disclosed that he attempted suicide twice and slipped into a coma from one of those attempts.
According to People, Joel discussed being part of the band Attila with his close friend Jon Small during his twenties, and how he ended up living with him, his wife Elizabeth Weber, and their son.
“I felt very, very guilty about it. They had a child. I felt like a homewrecker,” he explained. “I was just in love with a woman and I got punched in the nose which I deserved. Jon was very upset. I was very upset.”
He explained that the physical altercation led to Attila’s breakup, but he eventually reconnected with Weber, wedding her in 1973. The couple divorced in 1982. Weber also features in the documentary and characterizes the affair with Joel as a “slow build.”
“I had nowhere to go. I was crashing in laundromats and I was depressed I think to the point of almost being psychotic,” Joel explained. “So I figured, ‘That’s it. I don’t want to live anymore.’ I was just in a lot of pain and it was sort of like, ‘Why hang out? Tomorrow is going to be just like today is and today sucks.’ So, I just thought I’d end it all.”
Joel’s sister Judy Molinari worked as a medical assistant during his darkest period and provided him sleeping pills for help. “But Billy decided that he was going to take all of them,” Molinari revealed in the documentary, with tears in her eyes. “He was in a coma for days and days and days. I went to go see him in the hospital, and he was laying there white as a sheet. I thought that I’d killed him.”
When he emerged from his coma, he felt compelled to attempt suicide again. He recalled drinking a bottle of “lemon Pledge,” but his former bandmate Jon Small rushed him to the hospital despite their conflict. “Even though our friendship was blowing up, Jon saved my life,” Joel stated. In the documentary, Small mentioned that he ultimately “forgave” his friend and concluded that he tried to take his life “because he loved me that much and that it killed him to hurt me that much.”
Joel admitted himself into an “observation ward” following the incident, from which he was discharged after several weeks. “I got out of the observation ward and I thought to myself, you can utilize all those emotions to channel that stuff into music,” Joel continued.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, help is available. Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org.
