Tiffany Haddish is breaking down her dating red flags with jokes, honesty, and plenty of her signature unfiltered energy.
In a funny segment on The Drew Barrymore Show, Haddish played a round of “Red Flag, Yellow Flag, Green Flag,” reacting to some wild dating scenarios — and she didn’t hold back. When Drew asked how she’d feel about a first date who goes straight in for a heavy, tongue-filled kiss, Haddish instantly slipped into comedic shock.
“That’s a slow down,” she said. “If it feels like I’m choking on his tongue, like his tongue is in my tonsils, I don’t want it. I don’t want it.”
Sticking to classic Tiffany humor, she added that she used to believe in matching whatever kind of kiss she got — until she learned most men aren’t ready for that level of energy.
“If they stick their tongue down your throat, you stick your tongue down his throat. Guess what? Men don’t like it when you do that to them,” Haddish joked.
And the red flags just kept coming. When the topic turned to men who don’t eat vegetables, Haddish didn’t even pretend to entertain it.
“Oh no. No, no, no,” she laughed. “He probably gonna have a bad attitude. He gonna be constipated and stuff.”
Another red flag for Haddish was a man who lets his dog lick him in the mouth — an automatic no from her. But not every scenario landed in the red zone. When asked how she’d react to someone bragging about dating a celebrity, she welcomed it.
“I’m always down for a little gossip,” she joked. And she wasn’t mad at anyone trying to stash dinner rolls before the appetizers showed up, either.
“With this economy? I’m with it. We in hard times right now,” she said. But a date sending a nude before they even meet? Absolutely not.
“Don’t take pictures of it!” Haddish warned. “If he’s showing me all the jewels right off the top? That’s a no. That means he got that picture circulating through his telephone.”
On the flip side, she loved the idea of a man ordering five entrées and finishing every one of them, and she’d even entertain a guy who gives her an instant pet name — if he’s fine enough. She’s also unbothered by a man who carries a stuffed animal named after her.
“I’m okay with him having an emotional support stuffed animal,” she said. “I carry my dog everywhere.”
When Drew threw out one last scenario — a date saying they “have to go tinkle” — Haddish’s face said enough. And she wouldn’t dismiss a man with a foot fetish, either.
“Depends on how fine he is, but I’m okay with that,” she laughed. “If he’s a shrimper, I can provide.”
After the game wrapped up, Haddish hyped her new Peacock series, Tiffany Haddish Goes Off, which follows her and her real childhood friends on a trip to Africa. The show premiered November 13 on Peacock.
