BigXthaPlug got emotional in a recent interview as he opened up about his autistic son.
During a conversation with the New York Times’ Popcast, the 27-year-old rapper reflected on fatherhood and the challenges of raising his six-year-old.
“Before I ever started rapping, my son was so smart. I mean, he’s still so, so smart,” BigXthaPlug shared around the 59-minute mark. “My biggest year maybe rapping, I found out the same year that my son has autism … And it’s, like, he went from being very verbal, to just start deteriorating. Like, he stopped talking.”
BigXthaPlug opened up about how his rap career, while providing for his kids, also keeps him away from them. The Largest rapper admitted the hardest part is being distant from his son, despite once promising him, “You’ll never not see me a day in your life.”
Visibly choked up, he confessed, “That’s why I don’t even like talking about it, man. That take a lot out of me. But I’m doing it for him … I can’t stop doing it because then, how he gonna eat?”
He went on to explain the emotional conflict: “I feel like, for me to be such a great dad, I should be there because I would hate for me one day for me that I’m supposed to be there and I can’t be there. Because that’s gonna mess me up more than anything.”
While he makes sure his son has “the best of everything,” BigX said the struggle is still very real because of his autism.
“It hurts me because I only started doing this for him,” he said. “It’s always gonna be harder for him, so I did everything that I’m doing to make life easier for him and it’s still gonna be hard on him.”
Even through the pain, BigXthaPlug made sure to highlight the brilliance of kids like his son: “Autistic kids are the smartest kids in the world.”
He also shared how his one-year-old daughter gives him an even deeper sense of purpose.
“I made [it to] her first birthday,” he said. “But now that I have a daughter, it’s like, now I’m doing it because it’s like: my daughter will always have the best. So whenever she gets married, that man is gonna have to be the best … because she got a daddy that’s gonna do everything for her.”
Watch BigXthaPlug’s full Popcast episode up top.
