Cardi B has some advice for women entering new relationships: keep those early bathroom habits in check.
The rapper went on Instagram Live on Monday morning (Sept. 7), following her surprise appearance at Don Toliver’s sold-out Barclays Center show in Brooklyn the previous night.
During the livestream, Cardi dug into cow ears, Dominican fried cheese, and fried pork while joking that her stomach would “sound like tires” later.
“I was talking to my friends, right? When you start dating a n***a, the first couple of months? Bitch, you gotta starve,” she joked, as seen in the video linked below.
“When you around a n***a … and you staying in his house and all that shit? Let me tell you something: only eat bread and salmon. Ain’t no taking a shit around a motherfucker, you understand?”
She kept going, “Ain’t no shitting, ain’t no farting … Don’t be a hungry bitch [saying], ‘I want some steak.’ Bitch, you know that shit gonna go right through you, ho.”
For those moments when nature calls, the “WAP” rapper laid out a full list of escape plans. One strategy involves telling your boyfriend you need to run to the pharmacy for eyedrops, even though you’re really heading to a restaurant to use the bathroom.
And if he offers to order the drops through an app, Cardi says to claim your bank account was locked over suspected fraud, then find a different bathroom.
She wrapped up the advice with a lesson on staying hydrated, claiming that men can smell your urine and that drinking water is all it takes to fix the issue.
“And let me tell you something, them n***as can smell your piss. Just drink water. You don’t need nothing else. You don’t need no cranberry. You don’t need no nothing. Just drink water. water and your shit gonna be nice, crystal clear, smelling good.”
Cardi B is rumored to be dating Nigerian goalkeeper Maduka Okoye. The pair were spotted together at Paris Fashion Week last month, according to Page Six, and were later seen dining together in Venice, Italy.
“I ain’t around a n***a, so I could eat this right now,” Cardi joked during the livestream, explaining that she has to act “cutesy” around a man and pretend she doesn’t have much of an appetite. At home, though, she said the act disappears completely.
“When I get home, I eat two bowls of Chipotle, five wings of Popeyes, rice and beans, all that,” she said. “Motherfuckers be like, ‘Damn, babe, what you eating?’ ‘Babe, I’m eating Chipotle.’ ‘You don’t be eating like that when you around me.’ I was like, ‘Oh, it’s my cheat day, babe.’”
