Jennette McCurdy is continuing to open up about some of the most difficult parts of her past, this time reflecting on a teenage relationship with a much older man she met while working on iCarly.
Speaking on the Call Her Daddy podcast, McCurdy revealed she was either 17 or 18 when she started dating a man in his mid-30s. Although she previously mentioned the relationship in her 2022 memoir I’m Glad My Mom Died, the latest interview went deeper into how the relationship developed and why it had such a lasting effect on her.
McCurdy said the relationship started with small gestures of attention that felt affirming at the time. The man, who was living with a girlfriend, would spend time with her after work, watching movies and listening to music he thought she’d enjoy. “I didn’t like them,” she admitted, explaining that she still went along with it to keep his attention.
She described the dynamic as emotionally exhausting, saying their time together came in short bursts and that she felt constant pressure to be available. “When he calls, I go,” she recalled, adding that the imbalance left her feeling worn down and easily replaceable.
Having been raised Mormon and homeschooled, McCurdy said she had planned to wait until marriage to have sex and didn’t feel emotionally ready for that level of intimacy.
Even so, she explained that the relationship slowly pushed past boundaries, fueled by what she now understands was a clear power imbalance. The man centered his own needs while presenting himself as considerate of hers — something McCurdy now views as manipulative.
In hindsight, she called the relationship “addictive,” saying the cycle of anticipation, emotional highs, and inevitable crashes kept her trapped longer than she realized. “My nervous system is hijacked,” she said.
The relationship ended around the time her mother, Debra McCurdy, died in 2013, though the two briefly reconnected afterward. McCurdy shared that revisiting the experience while writing her upcoming novel Half His Age — out January 13 — resurfaced anger she didn’t know she still had. “Writing is my way to closure,” she said.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault or coercive relationships, support is available. In the U.S., the National Sexual Assault Hotline can be reached at 800-656-HOPE (4673), or you can visit RAINN.org for confidential help and resources.
