Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie says the death of her 21-month-old son has changed something she once viewed as deeply fundamental: her connection to Nigeria as home.
In July, six months after Nkanu Nnamdi died following a medical emergency at a Lagos hospital, Adichie had still not returned to the country where she was born and spent significant parts of her life. In a new interview with The New York Times, the acclaimed author spoke candidly about just how much her relationship with Nigeria has changed.
“My feelings toward Nigeria have changed,” Adichie said. When asked if the country still felt like the place she belonged, she gave an even more direct response: “I do not want to go back to Nigeria.”
That marks a deeply painful shift for Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, whose bond with Nigeria has long influenced both her personal life and much of her writing. Adichie and her husband, Dr. Ivara Esege, kept homes in Nigeria and Maryland and regularly took their children to Lagos for Christmas, Easter and summer holidays.
Their 10-year-old daughter recently told her mother, “Nigeria is my happy place.”
But now, Nigeria is also permanently tied to the loss of Nkanu.
Nkanu, one of the couple’s twin sons, fell ill while the family was in Lagos last December. When his condition did not improve, the family began making arrangements to fly him to Johns Hopkins Hospital in Maryland. Before the medical evacuation could happen, doctors in the U.S. requested additional tests to confirm that he was fit to travel, prompting the family to take him to Euracare Hospital.
Adichie said Nkanu was given propofol to keep him still during an MRI. While she waited outside the room, a doctor suddenly rushed out from where the procedure was being performed. She later recalled being told, “Well, look, they gave him too much Propofol.”
“Those were his exact words, which I will never forget until the day I die,” she said.
Nkanu suffered cardiac arrest and died within 24 hours.
Since then, Adichie and Esege have sought answers regarding their son’s treatment. Nigeria’s Medical and Dental Council initially determined that three physicians had been negligent and suspended them while further proceedings were underway, although one doctor was later cleared.
A coroner’s inquest into Nkanu’s death began earlier this year but has since been stayed while a judicial review takes place. The couple maintains that they are not pursuing a lawsuit against the hospital or doctors. Instead, they want accountability and changes that could help prevent another family from suffering a similar loss.
The grief has also remained with Adichie in Maryland. Nkanu’s highchair still sits beside his twin brother’s, while his clothes remain upstairs. She said she occasionally finds herself adding two of something to an online shopping cart before remembering that she now only needs one.
Despite everything, the family still intends to return to Nigeria, largely because their surviving children remain deeply attached to the country.
“They’re the reason we’re going,” Adichie said.
